and another...

This time with the English translation... because I didn't find it too unbearable :)


To ***
I still remember that amazing moment
You have appeared before my sight
As though a brief and fleeting omen,
Pure phantom in enchanting light.

Locked in depression's hopeless captive,
In haste of clamorous processions,
I heard your voice - soft and attractive.
And dreamt of your beloved expressions.

Time passed. In gusts, rebellious and active,
A tempest scattered my affections
And I forgot your voice attractive,
Your sacred and divine expressions.

Detained in darkness, isolation,
My days would slowly drag in strife.
With lack of faith and inspiration,
With lack of tears, and love and life.

My soul attained its waking moment:
You re-appeared before my sight,
As though a brief and fleeting omen,
Pure phantom in enchanting light.

And now, my heart, in fascination
Beats rapidly and finds revived:
Devout faith and inspiration,
And tender tears and love and life.


К ***
Я помню чудное мгновенье:
Передо мной явилась ты,
Как мимолетное виденье,
Как гений чистой красоты.

В томленьх грусти безнадежной
В тревогах шумной суеты
Звучал мне долго голос нежный
И снились милые черты.

Шли годы. Бурь порыв мятежной
Рассеял прежние мечты,
И я забыл твой голос нежный,
Твой небесные черты.

В глуши, во мраке заточенья
Тянулись тихо дни мои
Без божества, без вдохновенья,
Без слез, без жизни, без любви.

Душе настало пробужденье:
И вот опять явилась ты,
Как милолетное виденье,
Как гений чистой красоты.

И сердце бьется в упоенье,
И для него воскресли вновь
И божество, и вдохновенье,
И жизнь, и слезы, и любовь

Romance :)

another amazing poem by Pushkin

Ночь
Мой голос для тебя и ласковый и томный
Тревожит поздное молчанье ночи темной.
Близ ложа моего печальная свеча
Горит; мои стихи, сливаясь и журча,
Текут, ручьи любви, текут, полны тобою.
Во тьме твои глаза блистают предо мною,
Мне улыбаются, и звуки слышу я:
Мой друг, мой нежный друг... люблю...
твоя... твоя!...

Татьяна Буланова Не плачь

seriously might be one of the saddest songs I've ever heard...

dobro pazhalovat domoi!

Ok so I'm finally updating my blog. Its been forever. Well, it seems like it. Life... is so freakin good right now. I'm actually not behind in school, I got an A on my russian quiz, and Sister Mckay finally got home! Good weekend for sure. I went out both Friday and Saturday. Saw Gran Torino... good movie, definitely up there on my list of favorites. On Sunday I went to Sister Mckay's, a.k.a. Anne's, homecoming. It was good to see her again. I also got my recorder back. Sister Ksyupova had left me some messages. It made me a little sad to listen to them. I just really miss the mission sometimes. Well, mostly I just miss the people there. I do not, however, miss getting up at 6:30 every day :)

I realized the other day that pretty much all of my high school friends, well the mormon ones, are either married or engaged. Hmm... I'm not sure how I feel about that. But alas I will not worry about that, because as I decided last week after the campus devotional, I am going to concentrate on the process and let the end work itself out. I've got a lot going on with school and romance is just going to have to sneak its way into my life... as I'm sure it will, because its pretty good at that.

I really like my classes this semester. I have some awesome professors. I really lucked out. I love creative writing, because it actually makes me sit down and write. Which I should do more often. I also have to do a lot of reading for that class as, which is good because otherwise I would never just sit down and read three hours of poetry. I've been writing poems for the past few weeks, I might post some on here. I have to keep a notebook of ideas too... so beware, if you're talking to me and you say something stupid... I'm writing it down :)

Well anyways... I'm a happy girl. Life is good and I hope that doesn't change anytime soon.

somnyeniye

ok... so I'm sitting here in my little corner of the HBLL feeling a little bit... ok no a lot bit overwhelmed. I can't even explain it. I just turned down the interview for the job I was almost willing to kill for and I'm wondering if I haven't made a huge mistake. Why is it that I can never follow through? I have this illusion of being something great... but you crack the shell and there's nothing underneath. I really wanted that job.... its like I go into self protection mode and think that somehow it is easier if I turn them down than if they turn me down. In all truth, I could have probably made it through the semester with a job, especially this one since its on campus and probably wouldn't be too hard. When I told the lady I was turning down the interview she looked at me like I was crazy... she was probably thinking something along the lines, "you are the one who applied for the job... whats your problem?" I can't believe I even got Ron Maines(co-founder of the history channel) to be a reference for me... I'm such a dork. And to top it all off, the lady called me on friday... I just went in today to say no. Real professional.....

Hmm so what was Elder Holland's devotional about yesterday? Looking forward and moving on. Easier said than done, I think that's my biggest flaw actually. I have trouble letting go and just getting over things. Too much self reflection....

ok well other than that little slip up, life is going reasonably well. I think...

I'm looking forward to the Russian old new year party on friday, I'm really hoping that will pull me out of this slump.

I loved you... by Alexander Pushkin

Я Вас любил А.С. Пушкин
Я вас любил: любовь еще, быть может
В душе моей угасла не совсем;
Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит;
Я не хочу печалить вас ничем.
Я вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно,
То робостью, то ревностью томим;
Я вас любил так искренно, так нежно,
Как дай вам бог любимой быть другим.