а кто сказал что нельзя...

В конце туннеля яркий свет слепой звезды,
Подошвы на сухой листве оставят следы,
Еще под кожей бъётся пульс и надо жить,
Я больше може не вернусь, а может... я с тобой останусь.

Останусь пеплом на губах,
Останусь пламенем в глазах,
В твоих руках дыханьем ветра...
Останусь снегом на щеке,
Останусь светом в далеке,
Я для тебя останусь - светом.

В конце туннеля яркий свет и я иду,
Иду по выженной траве, по тонкому льду.
Неплачь, я боли не боюсь, ее там нет.
Я больше може не вернусь, а может... я с тобой останусь.

Останусь пеплом на губах,
Останусь пламенем в глазах,
В твоих руках дыханьем ветра...
Останусь снегом на щеке,
Останусь светом в далеке,
Я для тебя останусь - светом.

Светом....

Останусь пеплом на губах,
Останусь пламенем в глазах,
В твоих руках дыханьем ветра...
Останусь снегом на щеке,
Останусь светом в далеке,
Я для тебя останусь - светом.

нельзя...

You know, Russia can be oh so beautiful when it wants to be.

My heart aches right now. I went back to my mission this past weekend. It was a whirlwind of emotions. I saw a lot of members and non-members, all good good friends. For the ones who aren't members, my heart aches that they could never accept the gospel and I can only pray that one day they will realize what it could do for them. As for the members, I rejoiced to see who was doing well and my heart broke when I found out who was inactive. Luda, cute little 16 year old Luda is pregnant. I wanted to cry, not just because of the hard life she now faces, but because I know that the other members will never accept her. Most of all I just wish I could stay and always be that spiritual support for them that I was on my mission. But I know I can't, at least not in the same way. I have to get on with my life. But I really want to be there for them.

It was a completely crazy trip. We took a 15 hour overnight train from Moscow to Samara, then I took a bus by myself to Togliatti, stayed there for the day, and then met up with Kostya in the evening. Kostya then drove me to Samara where we picked up the other guys and drove to Balakova, Marks, and then Saratov in our little two door Lada. It was uncomfortable to say the least :) but fun. We got to Saratov at 6am. I slept for maybe two hours, then went to church. Kostya walked around the city with me. Took me to a museum, where there was a butterfly display. It was funny, this butterfly landed on my head and stayed there for like 10 minutes. The lady told me that I wasn't allowed to touch it... It was really fun to see Kostya. He's a good guy, and I feel like on of the most genuine people I know. Anyway, then I went to the Bennett's farewell fireside. President Bennett made us all get up and say where we served and stuff. It was so cool to see all the members, I'm glad there was a fireside and I didn't have to worry about going to all of their houses. How convenient :)

That night I stayed at Kostya's place, since I was leaving at 5am the next day I didn't really feel like it was worth it to sleep, plus I was talking to Kostya, so I got maybe an hour. Then we drove with the Bennetts to Samara. Stayed there for a few hours, and then went to Ulyanovsk. Saw some members, and then took a taxi to Kazan. We got a hotel room there and slept :) Then we walked around the city until it was time to go to the airport. We got back to Moscow at around midnight, or just a little after. Needless to say I was exhausted, and I think I'm coming down with something. Not surprising really, a weekend of no sleep... my body is like... nooooo!