ahhh I can't sleep. I want you to know that I'm typing this on my cute new little tiny computer that I just bought at costco. I love costco. Its such a small computer, but since I already have a pretty decent one I thought it foolish to invest in a new computer, but I wanted a laptop to take to class. So thankfully, costco provided me with the greatest option... a really cheap laptop that does everything that I need it to do, I can take notes, use the internet and write papers up on campus. Then if I need to use a more intense program I can use my computer at home. This is pure joy.

I hate nights like this. Because I can't sleep... so I end up having to make the decision... do I just stay up all night (which is stupid and I never end up doing) or do I try to go to sleep (which will take forever) and risk not being able to wake up on time in the morning. Either way I'm going to be tired tomorrow night, so I guess that's reassuring.

Life is complicated right now. Which makes things more interesting I suppose. I need to figure out how to get better answers to my questions is all.

I took a color test today. Apparently I'm a mixture of blue, white, and red, with a touch of yellow. I'm not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean, but I suppose I'll figure that out as I keep reading the book.

Well since my excuse for not trying to sleep is now coming to an end (television broadcast of my best friends wedding) I think I'll go ahead and make that attempt now. Oh... spanglish is next. I love that movie. But thankfully I watched that while I was in Vegas... so really I have no excuse now. I'm going to bed.

Well thats all for now.
Favorite moment of the day? When I realized that there are actually people in this world who are more emotionally handicapped than me :) i.e. guy that wanted to ask me out today, and aparently doesn't take rejection very well. Sounds crueler than it really was... he's just a weird kid.

Goodnight

The curses of modern technology

So I sit here right now a very embarrassed... and maybe a little ashamed girl. I was very bored so I made the mistake of going through some old emails that were still on facebook and myspace from before my mission. There happened to be some from former boyfriends. As it turns out.... I have been very mean to some very nice boys. I never really considered myself a manipulator... but I think the realization that I have only just now come to is that I may not be the worst there ever was.... but I'm definitely up there. Its almost funny because I always considered myself the victim... but as I read what they wrote to me I realized that I totally didn't deserve them. I mean, I was seeing like three guys at once at one point, and I was just dragging them along for the ride until they refused to take it anymore. Thats bad. I suppose its a good thing that I've come to understand that... albeit a little late.

This is what not having a job will do to you.

I need to find a better way to occupy my time. Well in January I'll have school. So I'm excited about that. I just got back from the WNFR in Vegas... it was great. There were some hardcore cowboys there. We're talking riding broncs with a broken arm... and bulls with a leg broken in two places. You want to talk pain.... that's hardcore.... or very very stupid. One of the two. Regardless I maintain that cowboys are hot.