:)

I'm happy... it's a good feeling. I was just thinking, you know... wondering why I'm being so positive all of a sudden, and I realized that I owe it all to my mission. It really changed me. I look at life different now. Not only am I glad to have a nice home, access to a good education, a family that loves me, the true church, to live in America... the list is endless by the way, but I'm just glad to be alive.

I remembered something that happened on my mission that really turned things around for me. It was when I was serving with Sister Rashupkina. I really am so glad I served with her, even though it was probably the hardest three months of my life up to this point. I learned so much with her.

Anyways, we were standing on the coast of the Volga in Engles, it was during zone conference. We walked out onto a dock-type-thing and looked into the water. Sister Rashupkina said something along the lines of, "Oh look how beautiful this is..." Mind you, she was looking out at the water. I, on the other hand, looked down and saw all the trash that had been tossed into the bank, probably by all the drunks that made their daily and nightly rounds across the coast. I said, "hmm... and I just see trash." Then I looked out across the river and saw Saratov... huge smoke stacks pumping pollution into the air at alarming rates. "I see pollution..." I honestly can't remember if it was something Sister Rashupkina said after that or if it was something I came up with on my own... but it really bothered me for a while... why was it that she saw beauty and all I could see was trash? So I thought about it and came to a good conclusion.





Sister Rashupkina... no matter how annoying she was about it at times, chose to see things the way they could be, not necessarily the way they were. This allowed for optimism without hypocrisy. A battle I had been struggling with my whole life... how do you be optimistic and realistic at the same time. I could never justify saying something was good, when I really thought it was bad... pretty when I couldn't stand the sight of it. But alas there's a great loop hole. Seeing things for the way they could be. So, in terms of the Volga, you can look at it this way: it really could be a beautiful river if they would just clean it up. So, you look past the trash and you see something grand, and you may even take the time to clean up the trash while you're at it :)





So I look at my life and I see what it could be, not what it's not... if that makes sense. I then work towards what I want it to be :) There are so many possibilities for me, so much to look forward to.

On another note... I think I'm going to start donating plasma if I can. I'm not sure if there's some restriction since I spent a year in Russia. Who knows, but I think that would be a good way to earn some extra cash :) maybe save up for a ticket to Russia. I found one today for only 600 bucks. That's not bad, and considering I wouldn't have to pay for a hotel... I can afford that. What I can't afford is to pass up an opportunity like that while I'm still single. Especially since I would have a free room in St. Petersburg and a free tour guide :) I could spend all day at the Hermitage ))) that would be amazing eh?

Ohh and I got the results back for the Russian challenge exam. Sixteen credits of sweet delicious A! I'm so happy, that's really going to boost my gpa which has kind of been suffering. I still can't believe I got a 99... so close to 100% I only missed one :)

Well I better get to bed now, I have to be to the temple early tomorrow. Oh and if anyone happens to read this... I'm performing on Sunday at 7pm at the Provo Tabernacle in the Russian Choir. It's going to be amazing so come!!