Have I found you?

Listening to that song makes me want to write something profound. Do you ever feel like that? Like you've got something trapped inside and you just don't know how to get it out? I feel like that a lot. I want to paint something beautiful, or write a song, even write a good story. But every time I start out, something goes wrong. Maybe I'll figure it out someday if I find the strength to keep trying. :)

Once upon a time I painted this...




and this:





and I drew this:


I haven't done anything like that in a LONG time.

I saw Knowing tonight with my brother. I really didn't think that I would like it. But it was actually a pretty good movie, with a lot of religious symbolism, surprisingly enough.

On another note, I wish there were more people in this life that truly got me. I met one the other day. It was oddly comforting. No matter what front I put up, in the end that's all I really want. I act like I'm cold-hearted and stuck up, but all I want is for someone to just look at me and say, "I know that's not you... just put your guard down already..." I don't know why I try to act like I don't care (when I actually do), or that I'm "too cool"; it's so juvenille. Well, I suppose I know why. But sometimes knowing why doesn't make it any easier to fix. :(

This song makes absolutely no sense... but it's beautiful all the same

can't sleep again

:)

I figured I needed to post something more uplifting than the Dachau story.... not that anyone reads this, although it seems some people do occasionally.

Well I got an email from my Russian professor today. It pretty much made my day :)
"Ваша оценка за класс А. Если Вы до конца семестра будете так же хорошо заниматься, Вам не нужно будет сдавать заключительный экзамен."

wooohooo!

Ok so, I think historical fiction is not my area. Ok so maybe writing fiction in general is not the best idea for me... I always expect it to come across one way, and everyone interprets it differently. Maybe there's a disconnect between me and the rest of the world that I should be worried about. Well, regardless I still write non-fiction well, (reviews, research, etc.) For now I'll just stick with that. Still, I should probably follow Prof. Newell's advice and keep trying. But it's so much easier just to give up :) Ahhh I'm torn.

I'm still having trouble focusing, this always seems to happen to me at the end of the semester. Although, I have to say it's coming a lot later this semester, which shows some improvement :)I've got one page done for my book review, only two more to go! It's not due until thursday, so I suppose I'm still ok. And... that's all I have left to do. Then it's exams!!

I'm sooo looking forward to this summer. I'm just going to chill, relax, and lay back... get the idea? After a year and a half stuffing my brain full of Russian and stressing out about people's salvation, and a semester at BYU (with some really hard classes) I'm ready to just do... nothing. Of course I'll have a job. But I demand that it be no-stress. You hear that? I demand!

this is kind of sad, but soooo cute!